Everybody Loves a Butler in Fodlan!
by KingWykkyd57
Summary: Even in a whole new land five years away from the bloodiest conflict imaginable, Dwyer the lazy butler still manages to accidentally charm those around him. A small one shot based on Everybody Loves a Butler. Brief Dwyer x Hilda


The scent was pleasant enough, Hubert supposed as he inspected the mug he currently held in his hand. His companion sat across from him in silence, gently sipping his coffee and eyeing the heir of House Vestra lazily. Hubert glanced back up at the other man and narrowed his eyes. What game was he playing? Why invite him for coffee in the first place? Not many dared approached Lady Edelgard's right hand, his pale complexion and haunting gaze drove most would be visitors away in a hurry. Not that he minded. There was some amusement found in those situations, especially with Bernadetta. But this stranger had the gall to invite him to the gardens for coffee. Not tea, coffee. Sure, Hubert did prefer the black drink to the daintier beverages so many of his fellow nobles enjoyed, but the whole situation seemed much too strange. This stranger...he must've had a plan. Hubert straightened his back against the chair as he raised his guard. If this man was a threat to Lady Edelgard, he would be disposed of immediately, like so many others...

"Your coffee will get cold, you know," his companion remarked, his words slow and dragging. He took another sip and sighed, closing his eyes. "I'll have you know I spent an awful lot of time brewing that. Too much time for you to go on wasting it."

Hubert blinked, and for a second his noble pride wanted to take over and berate the stranger for speaking to him in such an indifferent manner. He quickly calmed down, however, and muttered his apologies before raising the mug to his lips. 'It doesn't SMELL poisoned...' he noted, and allowed the drink to touch his lips.

His eyes shot wide, the taste overwhelming his entire being. How...how could coffee taste so good?! The rich creaminess, balanced perfectly with the sting of the coffee beans! Hubert thought his brewing skills were good, but to be beaten so easily by this sleepy stranger?! He feared he would never enjoy coffee again, if it wasn't this exact brew that awaited him! Goddess above, how could one mug contain so much...joy?!

He felt as if he would finally discover good will towards men and that his eyebrows would finally grow back, but when he set his mug down...

...it was empty!

How could it have been empty already?! Had he truly swallowed the whole thing?

His companion let out a noise that sounded like a lazy snort. "I'll take your expression as a compliment," he said, the faintest of smirks appearing on his otherwise blank canvas of a face.

Hubert cleared his throat and leaned back in his seat. "It appears I may have misjudged you," he admitted, taking a napkin and patting his lips with it. "Though it is strange that I've never seen you before. I have eyes and ears all over this monastery, yet this is the first I've heard of your arrival, Mister...?"

"Dwyer," his companion introduced, "and I'll go ahead and pretend I didn't hear about the massive invasion of privacy."

"My duties require me to be vigilant," Hubert explained as he observed Dwyer pouring him another mug. Hubert took it and held it close to his chest. "These walls hide many secrets, and not all of them are harmless. I must assure nothing happens to Lady Edelgard."

"I understand perfectly," Dwyer nodded along. "As a butler, it is my duty to serve my lord. And sometimes that requires having to raise arms."

Hubert smirked and chuckled. "Are you suggesting we're kindred spirits, Dwyer?" He observed the butler's drab clothing and took another sip of coffee, making sure to restrain his urge to gulp it down. Honestly, comparing him to a servant? Hubert was far beyond a mere servant...

"Not at all," Dwyer said, shaking his head. "I've learned that blindly serving another is no way to live life."

Hubert took in a restrained breath and set his mug down. "What are you suggesting?" he asked coolly, his jaw tight.

"The best way to serve others is to be your own person first, I believe." Dwyer clarified. "We aren't simply extensions of our lords, I think. Rather, we're...companions of sort. We serve as outlets, someone our lords can truly rely on. We offer our own opinions, give our own advice, do what we think is right in the moment. Live, laugh," his faints turned the very faintest of red, "maybe even love. Our business with our lords doesn't define us. It's just a job." It was silent for a moment, before Dwyer yawned and gave a halfhearted shrug. "Or something like that."

Hubert closed his eyes and finished his coffee, then extending his hand for more. As Dwyer poured out the last of the coffee, Hubert hummed. "I suppose...that's one way to look at it. You certainly have made intriguing points. However," he paused and took a sip, "I cannot fully agree with you. My situation is much more than just a 'job', as you call it. My duties don't provide me with the opportunity to live life leisurely, I have too much to do, and so little time to accomplish it."

Dwyer just shrugged. "Eh, I tried." he muttered. "Whatever, it's not like you're gonna throw the whole damn world into war or anything." He closed his eyes, and suddenly looked much older than he was. "Battle, it's...it's a scary thing."

Hubert hid his cruel smirk behind his mug. 'You have no idea...' he thought, before clearing his throat. "Though, I do think there are others in this academy who would serve well to hear your reasoning." In particular, that man from Duscur who acted as Dimitri's lapdog.

"Oh?" Dwyer raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps I should pay them a visit, then."

"Why the rush?" Hubert asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're not scared of me, are you, Dwyer? It's so peaceful today, why not stay and chat with me a bit longer. I admit you've caught my interest."

"With such a _pleasant _invitation like that, how can I refuse?" Dwyer groaned, rolling his eyes.

...

Dedue spared a side glance towards his companion as they prepared a meal together. The man hadn't so much as introduced himself as he strolled into the kitchen, tying an apron around his waist. It had almost managed to catch the man from Duscur off guard, he wasn't aware of anyone besides him on kitchen duty today. And this man...he certainly wasn't from around here. This was their first meeting, silently cooking together, and they didn't even know each other's names.

It wasn't terrible. Dedue knew he wasn't a great conversation partner during the best of times, he was used to awkward silences, and it seemed his partner had a similar situation in that regard. The stranger seemed completely at ease, focusing only on his tasks. Dedue hadn't even told him what he was preparing, yet the new face fell in sync with him perfectly. It was refreshing, if Dedue could selfishly admit. Too many times he had been paired up with someone who was blatantly racist towards him, or with someone who should never be in a kitchen, constantly pestering him what to do next with complex questions that had extremely simple answers. This...this was nice. The stranger had no tension in his movements, and he seemed to pick up on where everything was located and knew exactly how to use it.

Satisfied, Dedue returned to the soup he had started, and began to stir.

"You should slow down your stirring," his companion advised, suddenly breaking the silence. "We wouldn't want it to spill, and it'll become more watery than it should if you stir too fast."

"Hm? Ah." Dedue nodded and did as his companion told. Perhaps deep down he was a bit too excited over having a useful cooking partner. "Thank you."

"No problem."

Silence again.

Dedue spared another look towards the man, noticing him mincing up onions. The sting hit his eyes, but no tears formed. Hmm...would His Highness approve of those onions?

"May I suggest mincing them thinner?" Dedue said. "His Highness likes them to be...less than noticeable. I've suggested removing the onions all together, but he insists on keeping them in the meal."

"I see, thank you," the man remarked, not looking up from his task. Then he grunted. "His Highness? Like a king? What is someone like that doing at a monastery?"

"King-to-be," Dedue corrected. "We're students here at the Officer's Academy. We're here to get revenge for our slaughtered families."

"Ah." the man nodded, clicking his tongue. "That's cool."

"Yes," Dedue agreed. "It is."

The meal was done in no time at all, and Dedue felt something akin to sadness in his chest. The man had truly been one of the greatest cooking partners he ever had, and it was a true shame their time together was up.

The two of them hung up their aprons after serving the dish to Dedue's fellow Blue Lions, and then turned to look at each other. The stranger had to crane his neck up to look into Dedue's eyes, and then extended his hand. "I'm Dwyer."

Dedue's giant hand completely enveloped his companion's. "Dedue."

"It's been a true honor cooking with you, Dedue."

"Likewise, Dwyer. I hope this isn't the last time we can make a meal together."

"I concur."

Dwyer walked out of the dining hall, and Dedue felt his heart ache just a little bit.

...

Exploring the monastery had been fun and all, but the library was practically heaven. Dwyer wasn't much for reading, but the day had been long and a quiet location to take his daily nap was all he needed. He reflected on the people he had met as his eyes fluttered closed, thinking about what an odd bundle of characters they were. That Hubert guy was clearly an evil mastermind and Dedue completely towered over him.

'I never want to go through that awkward silence ever again...' Dwyer thought to himself. But hey, at least now he finally had time to lay down between some bookshelves and rela-

"UGHHHHHH, I can't believe the professor's making me clean the library!" a high pitched whine came from a few bookshelves to his left. "Those books I returned weren't THAT late! Hnngg, this is so unfair!"

'Mom?' Dwyer thought, the voice eerily similar to Charlotte's cutesy speech she put on around strangers. He shook his head. No, his mother was way back home, there was no way she followed him here. Groaning, he sat up and stretched his back. 'So much for napping,' he sighed as he slowly rose to his feet.

"Ohhh, won't anyone help such a delicate maiden?" the voice continued dramatically, causing Dwyer to wince.

On second thought, maybe Charlotte did follow him after all.

He peeked around the bookshelves and saw a girl around his age sitting on top of a table, an admittedly cute pout on her face. He noted her bright pink hair and skirt shorter than he would have expected a religious building to allow. Next to her were a couple dusters and a broom. The girl kept glancing at the supplies as if she genuinely had no idea how to use them. Dwyer felt his butler instincts bombard him with red flags, and he was just thinking about making his getaway when the girl's eyes met his own.

Her whole face brightened and she hopped off the table, clearing the distance between them in no time at all. "Oooooh, you're a new face around here!" she beamed, her voice rising in volumes Dwyer was all too familiar with. "Maybe you can help me out!"

"Er..." Dwyer winced, then glanced behind the girl at the supplies. "What would that mean, exactly?"

The girl huffed and glared at the supplies. "My professor ordered me to clean this whole library before dinner, all because I returned some books a little late!" She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "He says it's to help me 'build character' or whatever, but I'd say I have plenty of character already!"

"That's...one way of putting it," Dwyer murmured, scratching his cheek awkwardly.

The girl turned back to him and pouted. "Won't you _please _help me out here, mister? You look so kind and strong and I would be SO grateful!" she pleaded, clasping her hands together.

Ah, she was trying to flatter him first. Made sense, and lined up pretty well with the stories he heard about his mother before she finally got married. Dwyer sighed. Should he help? He really didn't want to...

"Isn't this supposed to be YOUR job?" he tried asking, hoping this would be his chance to get away.

The girl gave him a look of shock, and swiftly shook her head. "There's no way I can do it!" she protested. She held up her arm for him to see. "Look how dainty I am! I'm far too weak for this sort of thing."

An obvious lie, Dwyer realized girl's biceps were much bigger than his, she obviously had more than enough strength for something so trivial. However, he realized trying to get away would be much more stressful than just playing along, so with a heavy sigh he nodded his head. "Fine," he groaned.

The girl cheered and drew Dwyer into an unexpected hug. The butler felt the air leave his lungs and he gasped. Yeah, she was DEFINITELY strong enough!

She finally released Dwyer and pointed to herself excitedly. "My name is Hilda, by the way!"

"Dwyer..." the butler wheezed as he rubbed his aching ribs.

"Well alrighty, Dwyer, let's get to work!" Hilda chirped, though both of them knew full well that she wouldn't be doing anything remotely considered work.

Dwyer just wanted it to be a simple cleaning job, but Hilda was not making it easy for him with her bombardment of questions.

"So what do you do, Dwyer?" she asked, peaking over his shoulder as he swept the broom between the bookshelf and the wall.

"I'm a butler," he replied simply.

"Oh! We have a few of those back at my home!" Hilda mentioned. "Were you hired by the monastery?"

"Nope," Dwyer shook his head, "I'm just visiting."

"Where are you from?"

"Far away."

Hilda hummed and tapped her chin. "Not much of an answer, you know. Are you from Dagda by any chance?"

Dwyer blinked. "What's a Dagda?"

Hilda snickered. "That's an obvious no, then."

"What's a Dagda?" Dwyer repeated, having finished sweeping and was now searching for a ladder to reach the top of the bookshelf.

Hilda giggled. "You're so funny, Dwyer."

"You still haven't answered my question..."

"So why are you visiting?"

Dwyer began to climb the ladder, duster in hand. "A friend of mine is visiting family," he explained. "Her family are merchants all over the world, one of her aunts apparently has a shop in the town below. I'm just along for the ride, so I stumbled over here."

"But if you're a butler, shouldn't you be with your lord or something right now?" Hilda wondered. "My father rarely lets his servants go out with friends and such."

Dwyer shrugged. "My friend just so happens to be my lord's daughter, so I guess you can say I'm still doing my job."

"Are you sure she'll be fine without you?"

"She has family here, she'll be fine," Dwyer assured, lowering himself on the ladder, dusting more shelves.

"Hmmm," Hilda hummed, before smirking. "Are you two, like, secret lovers or something? Sneaking around behind your lord's back?"She chuckled to herself, obviously finding amusement in the idea.

Dwyer grimaced and shook his head. "I'm pretty sure she's, like, twelve."

Hilda stopped laughing and cleared her throat. "Ah, I see..." she mumbled. "Do you have a girlfriend, then?"

Dwyer paused, then shrugged. "I have friends who happen to be girls, yes."

"You know what I meant!"

The butler sighed. "No, I don't have a girlfriend. Happy?" Honestly, couldn't she just let him work? Why make it harder for him to concentrate on what was supposed to be HER job? 'Just power through it, Dwyer ol' buddy," he told himself. 'The day is almost done.'

"I have one more question, Dwyer."

"I'm not dating you." Dwyer growled.

Hilda gasped and quickly hid her growing blush. "Don't just say thinks like that, Dwyer!" she scolded him. "Girls are sensitive to that sort of thing."

"I know all too well," the butler muttered under his breath with a roll of his eyes.

"Anyway, what I was GOING to ask was if you're going away after this."

"Probably." Dwyer stated tiredly.

"Awwww, but I feel like we've barely gotten to know each other!" Hilda whined. "This place is pretty great, but seeing the same people every day gets pretty boring after awhile, you know?"

Dwyer hopped off the ladder and turned to face the pinkette, raising an eyebrow curiously. "Wouldn't that mean you'd eventually get bored of me if I stayed?"

Hilda rolled her eyes and scoffed. "You don't know that," she grumbled.

Dwyer sighed and shook his head. "Look, I can't promise anything, but _maybe_ my friend will visit her family here sometime again soon, so _maybe _you'll see me again someday.

Hilda suddenly grinned. "Hey, I know!" she exclaimed. "Five years from now we're holding a festival to celebrate this monastery being here for one thousand years! Maybe you should come by then, it'll be so much fun!"

"Uh...maybe," Dwyer hesitantly agreed. 'Gods, five years better be a long time from now.' He sighed and clapped his hands together. "Welp, looks like I'm done cleaning for you," he noticed. "Guess that's my cue to leave. Nice meeting you." He turned to leave but was stopped by Hilda jumping in front of him. 'Pleeeeease,' he silently begged. 'I just wanna go hooooome!'

"You can't leave just yet, silly!" Hilda smirked. "I gotta give my big strong hero a reward for helping out this delicate flower."

"Please, I'm just doing my-" Dwyer was cut off when Hilda pressed her lips against his. It was the briefest of contact, it ended so soon the sleepy butler could've just imagined the whole thing. He probably would've convinced himself that he had, if not for Hilda winking at him, that teasing smirk still gracing her, now that he thought about it, _delicate _features.

"Consider that something to remember me by, Mister Butler-man," she said coyly. "Come back in five years, or else I'm going to have Raphael chase you down for me. And trust me, that guy can sprint forever." With one last wink, she skipped away, humming a tune to herself and leaving Dwyer dumbfounded and with a single question on his mind.

"What's a Raphael?"

...

**Those who have been reading the story this is a spin off of, Everybody Loves a Butler, you'll know that the friend Dwyer refers to is Kana, who in this universe is the daughter of Anna. For those who didn't read that story, well...there ya go. On another note, go ahead and let me know which house you'd believe Dwyer would join in the war, if he were a character in the game.**

**For those WONDERING where ELaB is, I'll assure you it's not discontinued or anything. Simply put, I'm in a situation right now that leaves me too stressed most days to really crank out any works here, but my girlfriend has been really encouraging and helped motivate me to write this cute little one shot. So hopefully I get back in my groove.**


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